On the 16^th
of April 2020, Drew Robinson woke up, prepared breakfast for himself, and wrote
a note to his family to explain why he wants to end his life. He spent the
months before the day pondering in isolation why he hated his life. In the
letter, he wrote that he hoped for them to eventually realize that no one could’ve
foreseen what he is about to do because he had hidden it so well from the world
– an attempt to ensure that no one blames themselves for his death.

He made his
sincerest apologies to his closet circle of five – Diana, Darryl, Renee,
Britney, and Chad. These are the same people who didn’t know what he was
struggling with – that he was suffocated with unimaginable sadness.
Unfortunately, they too, believed the persona Drew created for himself. They
knew him as a Major League Baseball player, who is charming and has a great
sense of humor. They knew his as a guy who was living his dream – in reality;
he wanted to die.

Anyone who
read the letter could tell that Drew was ridden with guilt but he was still at
peace with it. He cleaned up his space and left it completely spotless and got
overcome with adrenaline as the time for him had come.

He picked up
the gun, placed the note on the kitchen counter, rode on his truck to a nearby
park and decided against the location. He immediately scratched another plan
and went back home. He poured a glass of whiskey and sat on the coffee table.
At around 8 PM, he picked up the gun again, pressed it hard against his temple
and finally pulled up the courage to shoot.

This is what
he had planned for himself. This was how his story was supposed to end.

Today, Drew
Robinson is 28 years old. He spent 20 hours at home after finally getting
hospitalized. He lost one of his eyes in the shooting. He is finally opening up
about his journey and the process of healing and it is urging others to do the
same.

The
professional baseball player was drafted by the Texas Rangers in 2010 and
debuted in the major league in 2017 and got traded to St. Louis Cardinals in
2018. He attempted suicide in April, almost one month after the pandemic
started.

In a brand
new interview with ESPN, the star player opened up like never before. He
decided to be transparent about his life after the failed suicide attempt –
especially the next 20 hours after the incident.

He said, “I’m here for a reason.” without any self doubt!

It seems
obvious that he was grappling with depression last April when he shot himself
right in the temple. As his life wasn’t meant to end, he survived a fatal
gunshot. However, it may come as a surprise that he didn’t reach out for help
even after hours of laying down on the floor wounded.

He woke up
the next day and contemplating if he should call 911 for help or shoot himself
again, for good. He ultimately concluded that he wanted to live.

“I
was supposed to go through that. I’m supposed to help people get through
battles that don’t seem winnable. It was completely supposed to happen. There’s
no other answer. It doesn’t make any sense. It was supposed to happen.I’m free
now. I shot myself, but I killed my ego.”– He
said, in the interview.

He revealed
that he struggled with mental health issues for a couple of years – triggered
at age 7 when his parents went through a divorce. He said that his family wasn’t
great at handling emotions due to which he had to go through a lot of stress and
internal struggles all his life.

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He further
revealed that when he got drafted as a teen – he wasn’t ready for the pressure.
He said that the constant up and down of the career took a toll on him as well.

Hence, when
he got released by the Cardinals in 2019, his state of mind worsened and
triggered suicide ideation. That’s when he realized how fickle his condition is
and so he started seeing a therapist and included reading self-help books in
his regime. Despite acquiring professional help, his condition didn’t improve.
He questioned every relationship in his life. 

He had
eventually signed on a minor league contract with the San Francisco Giants in
January – something non-guaranteed – and because of the pandemic; the season
got cancelled as well.

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After
shooting and contemplating for the next 20 hours if he wanted to die or give
life another shot, he decided to go with the latter. He called up 911 on the 17^th
of April. When he reached the hospital, he was told that he had ruptured his
right eyeball and fractured his frontal sinus which ended up causing a leakage
in the cerebrospinal fluid. He was also informed that he had a wound on his
left cheekbone because of which he’ll have to wear prosthesis close to his
right eye.

Soon, his
family rushed to the hospital to extend their support to him, but they were
eventually asked to stay at home due to the strict SOPs. He revealed that he
spoke to his older brother – Chad Robinson – that he was meant to be alive.

Today,
Robinson is still undergoing therapy and has adopted meditation and baseball
practice again. According to ESPN, the player has been signed on to a minor
league once again for November.

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He is still
fighting depression but he has acquired techniques to cope with it and continue
living life.

“How
can I go through this and not find a way to try to help other people or impact
other people’s lives? Just have this happen and just move on with my life the
way I was before? There’s no way. This was a huge sign. A huge, painful sign
that I’m supposed to help people get through something that they don’t think is
winnable.Even though I have one less eye, I haven’t seen things this clear my
entire life.”– Said Robinson as his final words of wisdom
to the interviewee.

Drew Elliot
Robinson, the famous American professional baseball infielder, committed
suicide with a gunshot on April 16, 2020 as he was overwhelmed with sadness and
self-doubt. He survived and today is alive to tell the tale of his rebirth. He said
“I’m meant to be alive” – putting
forth an inspiring message for those struggling with mental health issues.

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